So today is Day 4 (of 9) of the Auto Show. We are off and cruising (ha ha) and things are going well, so life is getting a bit easier.
Also, it was over 40 degrees today in MSP. YAY!!!
Just a little joke to help you smile!
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loadedUp Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The ladyAgreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do" Said Bob.
"Did you, uh, happen to getup in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything.."
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?...You know you smiled... Now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
So You've Had a Bad Day?
So I've been having a crappy couple of weeks and I've heard many of my friends have had as well. Seeing things like this make my day seem pretty easy though.
Rule #1 when singing the National Anthem: Remember the words!
Rule #2 keep the words readily available in your pocket so you don't have to fumble if you forget.
Rule #3 REMEMBER THE DAMN WORDS!!!
Rule #1 when singing the National Anthem: Remember the words!
Rule #2 keep the words readily available in your pocket so you don't have to fumble if you forget.
Rule #3 REMEMBER THE DAMN WORDS!!!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Ways to keep your spirit 'up' at work
A little humor for the day!
The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone!
The top 10 were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1. Viagra, This is your peepee, this is your peepee on drugs
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
American Idol Resumes for 2008
So, I'm sitting here, watching the second night of American Idol - 7 Auditions.
Its so bad, I don't even know where to begin... You just have to see it to believe it. My favorite one last night would be the girl (I believe Alexis) who lives in a studio Apartment with her mom, two cats and a dog. I'm quite certain that they actually eat the cat food themselves...
My favorite comment of the night was when my friend Lisa said, they shouldn't call this American Idol Auditions, but "People least likely to ever get laid in (insert city here)"
So True
So True
I mean, if I was tone deaf, and trying out for a singing competition on national television, i would most certainly wear a princess lea costume that showed most of my fat and hairy chest. Twas even better when he went and got a full body wax because of Paula's suggestion.
Well at least America's freaks have an outlet to be noticed.
Oh yes, and today at work I found out how they make "animal byproducts". If you have any desire to be a vegetarian, this would be a great video to push you over the edge. You'd never want to eat an animal again.
Oh yes... I love my job...
Its so bad, I don't even know where to begin... You just have to see it to believe it. My favorite one last night would be the girl (I believe Alexis) who lives in a studio Apartment with her mom, two cats and a dog. I'm quite certain that they actually eat the cat food themselves...
My favorite comment of the night was when my friend Lisa said, they shouldn't call this American Idol Auditions, but "People least likely to ever get laid in (insert city here)"
So True
So True
I mean, if I was tone deaf, and trying out for a singing competition on national television, i would most certainly wear a princess lea costume that showed most of my fat and hairy chest. Twas even better when he went and got a full body wax because of Paula's suggestion.
Well at least America's freaks have an outlet to be noticed.
Oh yes, and today at work I found out how they make "animal byproducts". If you have any desire to be a vegetarian, this would be a great video to push you over the edge. You'd never want to eat an animal again.
Oh yes... I love my job...
Friday, January 11, 2008
Unknowing twins marry each other
From CNN.com
Oh HELL No!
LONDON, England (CNN) -- British twins who had been separated at birth learned they were related only after they had become husband and wife, a senior British lawmaker said. The marriage has been annulled.
The couple's identities have been protected for legal reasons.
Their case was first highlighted by Lord Alton of Liverpool during a discussion on donor conception in the House of Lords in December, but only came to light Friday.
The peer told the House of Lords that a court annulled the union as soon as the twins' true relationship became known.
"They were never told that they were twins," he said during the Dec. 10 debate on a law covering human fertility and embryology. They had been adopted by separate families and "met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."
No further details about the couple have emerged, and it is not known when the marriage took place or how long they were together before they discovered the truth.
Adoption groups said Friday the case proves the need for openness and transparency during the adoption process.
Mo O'Reilly, director of child placement for the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said released a statement saying: "Thirty or 40 years ago it would have been more likely that twins be separated and brought up without knowledge of each other."
However, she said, greater emphasis in recent years on ensuring adopted siblings stay in touch meant this "traumatic" case will remain "incredibly rare."
Daisy O'Clee, a spokeswoman for the agency, said that of more current concern is the lack of legislation surrounding fertility treatment.
Under British law the parents of a donor-conceived child do not have to declare that fact on the child's birth certificate, O'Clee told CNN. This means a child conceived with a donor sperm or egg may never know their true origin.
Lawmakers will vote Tuesday on whether to pass a law covering human fertility and embryology that would relax the rules on who can have fertility treatment.
O'Clee warned that in its present form the proposal does little to address the rights of donor-conceived children.
"The rights of donor children are being ignored," she said.
Oh HELL No!
LONDON, England (CNN) -- British twins who had been separated at birth learned they were related only after they had become husband and wife, a senior British lawmaker said. The marriage has been annulled.
The couple's identities have been protected for legal reasons.
Their case was first highlighted by Lord Alton of Liverpool during a discussion on donor conception in the House of Lords in December, but only came to light Friday.
The peer told the House of Lords that a court annulled the union as soon as the twins' true relationship became known.
"They were never told that they were twins," he said during the Dec. 10 debate on a law covering human fertility and embryology. They had been adopted by separate families and "met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."
No further details about the couple have emerged, and it is not known when the marriage took place or how long they were together before they discovered the truth.
Adoption groups said Friday the case proves the need for openness and transparency during the adoption process.
Mo O'Reilly, director of child placement for the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said released a statement saying: "Thirty or 40 years ago it would have been more likely that twins be separated and brought up without knowledge of each other."
However, she said, greater emphasis in recent years on ensuring adopted siblings stay in touch meant this "traumatic" case will remain "incredibly rare."
Daisy O'Clee, a spokeswoman for the agency, said that of more current concern is the lack of legislation surrounding fertility treatment.
Under British law the parents of a donor-conceived child do not have to declare that fact on the child's birth certificate, O'Clee told CNN. This means a child conceived with a donor sperm or egg may never know their true origin.
Lawmakers will vote Tuesday on whether to pass a law covering human fertility and embryology that would relax the rules on who can have fertility treatment.
O'Clee warned that in its present form the proposal does little to address the rights of donor-conceived children.
"The rights of donor children are being ignored," she said.
Avenue Q - Contains Full Puppet Nudity!
This will be a short blog, but just wanted to comment that a large group of us went on Wednesday evening and the show was fantastic! If you've never seen it, its definitely a must see. Just think Sesame Street meets RENT. How can you go wrong with a show when the songs are titled "What Do You Do With a B.A. In English?", "The Internet Is For Porn", and "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist".
AND, the tickets are dirt cheap as far as touring Broadway goes. I think through the weekend you can get seats for as little as $35.00!
My absolute favorite part of the show is the Bad Ideas Bears. They are two bears that remind me of the Care Bears that come in at random times and try to get the characters to drink, get laid, etc. Remember, when you are broke, its always better to buy in bulk. Otherwise you are wasting money... So don't buy a six-pack... Buy a Case!!! YYYYAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!
(I know, you have to see it to truly get it)
Well I'll leave you with their opening number, as performed at the 2004 Tony Awards Show. They won the Tony for Best Musical that Year over Wicked (second clip is in honr of that!). You can see a bunch more on YouTube if you so choose.
It Sucks To Be Me!
Popular
AND, the tickets are dirt cheap as far as touring Broadway goes. I think through the weekend you can get seats for as little as $35.00!
My absolute favorite part of the show is the Bad Ideas Bears. They are two bears that remind me of the Care Bears that come in at random times and try to get the characters to drink, get laid, etc. Remember, when you are broke, its always better to buy in bulk. Otherwise you are wasting money... So don't buy a six-pack... Buy a Case!!! YYYYAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!
(I know, you have to see it to truly get it)
Well I'll leave you with their opening number, as performed at the 2004 Tony Awards Show. They won the Tony for Best Musical that Year over Wicked (second clip is in honr of that!). You can see a bunch more on YouTube if you so choose.
It Sucks To Be Me!
Popular
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